Short Stories about Barry the Chopper
by TerrierLee
Summary: This is a collection of crackish stories involving Barry and Farman during the course of the manga when the two were stuck in an partment together for who knows how long.
1. Roommate Love Sequel

Title: Sequel to Roommate Love  
Author/Artist: terrierlee  
Warnings: Groping, shocked blonds... The usual. Crack :D  
Rating: PG-13 for nudity  
Pairings: BarryFarman  
Summary: Havoc keeps a close eye on two certain roommates, and ends up with a surprise.  
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to a previous fic, by my friend samaside, Roommate Love, hence the title XD. To find the fic, I suggest going to my Favorite Authors.

* * *

A few weeks after the whole chess incident with Havoc, Barry and Farman, the blond decided to keep a close watch on the two. He requested leave, saying he needed the vacation, everyone believed him. For once, all that getting turned down had helped him.

That night, Havoc dressed in all black and put on a black cap, so his hair was covered. He came across the apartment where Barry and Farman were held captive. He climbed up the stairs and hid himself as he looked through the window. Nothing.

Barry came into his view, and he was holding... a towel? Farman walked up behind the suit of armor. He held a small smile on his stony face.

"Make sure not to scrub so hard, okay Barry?"

"Sure thing Chief!"

They walked to a section where the bathroom was located. Havoc stayed where he was, before he heard the showerhead running. What? He waited a bit more, straining to listen over the water.

"Damn Chief. You hide your figure well."

"Heh."

No. Havoc moved over and looked through the window outside the bathroom. Farman was standing in front of the shower, completely shirtless and starting to rid himself of his pants. Barry was near the sink, folding Farman's shirt and holding the towel. Barry was right. Farman was _buff_.

Havoc gulped as he saw the size of Farman and looked down at himself. That wallflower was holding out on everyone!

As Farman started to enter the shower, a bar of soap appeared under his foot and he slipped. Havoc watched in slow motion as Barry leapt forward and caught Farman in his arms. The towel he was previously holding was now laying on the floor.

"You okay Chief?"

"I'm okay. Thank you Barry."

"No problem."

Barry helped Farman get to his feet. The ex-serial killer bent down and grabbed the soap. He handed it to Farman. The stone-faced man cracked a smile. He then entered the shower, no slipping this time.

As soon as Farman entered, Barry picked up the towel and sat on the floor. Then two started to chat while Barry waited for the man to finish in the shower.

Havoc, in the meantime, had ducked under the window, a blush covering his face. Was it him, or did that soap magically appear there, wanting Farman to slip so Barry would catch him? The thought burned into his brain. He didn't want to think about it. He waited a few more minutes, before he heard Farman speak.

"It's time Barry."

"Okay chief."

Havoc peeked over the window. Barry made a clanking sound as he approached the shower. Farman handed the suit of armor the evil soap. The supposed gray-haired wallflower turned so his backside was facing Barry.

The suit of armor started to lather the towel in foam before he scrubbed away at Farman's back. He started at the shoulders, then to the nape right under the neck. Down the spine, at the sides, further and further the scrubbing went down, nearing Farman's waist.

Havoc's eyes turned into UFOs. Which is weird cause... do they exist in this world? oO;

Barry seemed to get an evil gleam in that light of an eye of his. He got to Farman's waist and went even further, Farman didn't seem to mind. Then Barry started to scrub away at Farman's behind, groping it so all the dirt would disappear. He finished up, and before Farman could even turn away so the water could drain the sudds away,

Barry pinched his ass.

Farman turned around and stared at Barry. Then he looked up.

Havoc, was busted.

Farman pushed Barry out of the bathroom and quickly finished at rinsing his body. He tossed a pair of boxers, shorts and a t-shirt before running out of the apartment and crashing into Havoc.

"Havoc! It wasn't what it looked like!"

He got no answer.

Havoc had passed out of the floor, his nose bleeding.

* * *

Part One is a-go :D I might post the next one. Depends if I feel like it XD  



	2. Stuck in a Closet With You

Title: The Wonders of Being Stuck in a Closet with a Serial Killer  
Author/Artist: terrierlee  
Warnings: Groping XD That's basically it.  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: BarryFarman  
Summary: When trying to get a chessboard, Farman and Barry get trapped in a closet. Insanity ensues.  
Author's Notes: This is pure crack on my part. I'm actually trying to get my friends to write more BarryFarman. Until they can, I shall :D

* * *

Farman glared at the wall. It wasn't his fault he was trapped in this closet. With a serial killer. Oh dear.

It all started when Barry wanted to play some chess. So Farman went to the closet, where the chessboard was hidden. As he stepped unto a stool, Barry came up behind him. Farman was too busy searching on the top shelf to see the suit of armor come up behind him.

"Find it yet Chief?"

Farman toppled over and crashed, causing Barry to fall over, causing the floor to shake causing the door to swing shut.

They were stuck.

Which is where they were at this very second. But after ten rounds of chess, you tend to get bored easily. Barry started to hum while Farman tried to figure a way out. He didn't know alchemy. Riza made sure that there were no knives in the apartment...

Farman shifted his weight so it was on his other leg. The closet barely fit the both of them. Well, it was pretty tall, and there was _some_ room to walk about, but that was kinda hard considering a large suit of armor blocked the doorway. Farman sighed and glared a closed-eyed glare.

"If you hadn't of scared me like that, we wouldn't be stuck in here."

"But I was only wondering if you found the chessboard." Barry murmured in a subdued voice.

The wallflower of a warrant officer leaned against the wall. There MUST be a way out. Oh who made these doors lock automatically?

Somewhere, on the other side of the Gate, someone sneezed.

Better to stay quiet. Farman mused. And too much movement would make the closet hot. Just stay still. Keep breathing regular. Yeah.

Either way, the room started to get stuffy. So stuffy it was causing Farman's eyes to droop. He fell backwards and onto the suit of armor that was behind him.

Barry "felt" something fall on him. He picked up his head and turned it around. Farman was dead asleep on him. He put his head back on and turned around swiftly, like a ninja, so Farman wouldn't fall on the floor and hurt his head.

The buff wallflower murmured in his sleep and rested his head on Barry's shoulder.

Now, if Barry could blink, he would have been blinking up a storm. But Barry's a suit of armor, and like Al, can't blink. Barry got an evil idea in his head. Farman was defenseless when sleeping.

Barry laid his hand on Farman's stomach and lifted his shirt enough for his armored hand to get under. The man sleeping on him made a gurgled noise at the sudden metal that touched his stomach. The ex-serial killer moved his hand up further, even an even BETTER plan popped into his hollow helmet. He brought his hand upward, feeling up on Farman's ribbed abdomen.

When the closet door suddenly opened, showing Havoc with a nonchalant face to a "WTF?" face. Farman, who was only asleep due to the stuffiness of the cramped space, awoke at the sudden air that hit his face.

It was only then did he realize Havoc standing there with a totally shocked expression. He didn't know why until Barry removed his hand from his chest. Farman jumped up, banging his head against the coat hanger, thus knocking him out again.

By this time, Havoc had passed out on the floor again.

Barry shrugged, lifted Farman and brought him to his bed. He left Havoc where he was.

* * *

Part Two :D Did I break anyone's brains yet? XD 


	3. Jealousy The Evil Fiend

**Title:** Jealous is Such an Evil Thing  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** None of which I know of. Yes, no groping in this one XD  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** BarryRiza, with BarryFarman on the side.

* * *

Farman glanced at the door. Someone was knocking. Thinking it was Havoc; he got up and opened the door.

It was Riza, decked in civilian clothing.

He saluted. "Lt. Hawkeye, what are you doing here?" Farman heard clanking in the next room. Riza saluted back and walked into the apartment as Farman moved away from the door.

"Just checking up on you two. Every time Havoc comes back from doing so, he looks like he just met the Major's family for the first time again."

"Oh."

"MISSY!" Barry jumped into the room, hugging Riza's waist. "Oh I've missed you so _much!_! I've been good Missy. I haven't chopped a single person since you and that weird Mustang fella left me with the Chief! It's true! Just ask!"

Riza "sweat dropped" and gently patted the helmet that was rubbing against her side. "I'm sure you did Barry."

"I love you so much Missy!" Barry cooed and he clung to Riza. "You should come visit more often! Yes! Please Missy?" If souls attached to armor could cry, tears would be evident on Barry's eyes. But the way he spoke the request made him reel back from the ache in his chest.

Farman, if he ever opened those damned eyes, would of blinked at that moment. Something was up. Why should he care if Hawkeye came to visit once and a while? It really shouldn't matter.

But as he watched Barry huggle Riza, it hurt.

Farman quietly wondered _why_.


	4. The Infamous Angst Chapter

**Title:** Cause Every Couple Needs Some Angst  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** Angry!Farman. Have we ever seen that before? ;  
**Rating:** PG-13, just to be safe.  
**Pairings:** BarryFarman hinting  
**Author's Notes:** Yeah. This actually brings up the stories I wrote earlier. So it'd be best if you read those first, then this.

* * *

Something was wrong with the Chief. And it was Barry's job to find out what was wrong.

After Farman refused to play chess until Barry was up in his face, and wouldn't talk to him right after they finished their 11th round, Barry was sure something was terribly, terribly wrong.

"Chief?"

Farman was on his bed, turned over so his back was facing the suit of armor. Barry came up to the bed.

"Chief?"

The warrant officer didn't reply. Barry tapped his cheek, turned, and walked out of the room. Farman glared at the wall. This is stupid. He doesn't even realize... The clanking of metal came into the room.

"The paper's here Chief."

Still no answer.

"I know how much ya like the paper..."

Nothing.

Farman shut his eyes. Hopefully, if he ignored Barry enough, he'd leave him alone.

That was the man last thought before he was hoisted up into the air.

"Barry! Wha-?"

He was carried to where the chessboard sat. Farman was thrown onto the couch. If suits of armor could glare, Barry would have been doing so, making sure Farman knew actually how pissed he was at him.

"What is wrong with you Chief?" A shrill was added at the end.

"Nothing." Short and precise. The way Farman always answers.

"Well it doesn't seem like nothing! You're ignoring me!" Barry stomped his foot on the floor. "Answer me dammit!"

Farman looked at Barry in the eye with a sharp glare. The suit of armor stepped back, very unsure now that he saw that Farman was furious.

"Remember in the closet? When I as 'asleep'? I was awake. In the shower, I didn't stop you. Then Hawkeye comes over and you act like an angel. Clinging onto her every word. Like you haven't been playing around with me all this time! Why if I could, I would leave you here and let you suffer being bored!" Farman, by this time, was standing up, hands balled up into fists, his breathing heavy.

"Woah Chief.."

"Stop calling me Chief." With that, Farman turned, and walked back to his room.

Barry stayed where he was till morning, deeply confused.


	5. Crack with Flower Petals

**Title:** More BarryFarman Crack  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** Crack XD  
**Rating:** PG-13, just to be safe.  
**Pairings:** BarryFarman  
**Author's Notes:** I wrote this during my creative writing class. I was THIS bored. And the song that happened to be playing when I wrote this was _Close the Door_ by _Marvin Gaye_. It fit the mood XD

* * *

The next day, Farman finally left his room and froze from his spot in the doorway.

It was times like this he was gad his eyes were forever shut.

In the middle of the living room, which was covered in flower petals, (which, Farman mused, he did not want to know where they came from) Barry lay on the flower-petaled couch, on his side, as if in a seductive way.

Barry "winked" at the other man, bringing an armored hand up his thigh; he motioned Farman to come closer. Farman continued to stare at the ex-serial killer. Was he trying to seduce him?

_Well,_ Farman looked at what Barry did to the rest of the room. _Barry is doing a very bad job at seducing. No doubt about that._

"Come here _Chief_." Another wink.

_I_ must _be sleeping._ Farman mused again, as Barry sat up slowly, pushing his front forward, arms stretched outward, as if to lure Farman into his arms.

Farman turned, and walked back into his room. He didn't come back for the rest of the day.

Barry wondered what he did wrong.


	6. Carpe Diem Part One

**Title:** Carpe Diem  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** crack XD  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** BarryFarman  
**Summary:** Barry seizes the day!  
**Author's Notes:** I needed a story that involved seizing the day for my creative writing class. Since I couldn't really think of anything, I used my two favorite crack makers :3

* * *

In the cold depths of night, a bell echoed its chime throughout the cold streets. A lone figure appeared in the streets, clutching something to their chest. Through the moon, the figure's shadow illuminated on the buildings surrounding him. A small cry from a baby reached his ears. If he could grin, he would be.

The figure came to a certain building. The walls were crumbling at certain places, the bottom most. He found the ladder leading to a certain room. He climbed it slowly, so not to wake the neighbors. At the window he chose, the figure slowly, softly (though it's hard to be completely soft so you can't be heard) climbed into the seemingly remote room.

Light burst into the desolate room. The cats in the alley hissed at what interrupted their scourging through the garbage, dogs began to bark. The one who turned on the light scowled.

"Barry, what are you doing? It's the middle of the night and with that body of yours, you could wake up the whole neighborhood!"

Barry "grinned" and bent down on one knee. Farman lifted a brow in confusion. From behind Barry came a bouquet of flowers. The suit of armor pushed the array of flowers into Farman's hands.

With a complete serious face that only a suit of armor could do, even without trying, he faced the other man who bore a deadpan expression.

"Will you marry me Chief?"

Calmly, Farman took the flowers and lifted Barry's head. He shoved the flowers into the suit of armor before saying a quick no, and then going back into his room.

Barry "smiled".

He had seized the day!

With a jump, Barry joyfully cried, "I'm engaged!"


	7. Carpe Diem Part Two

**Title:** Carpe Diem Pt 2: Telling the Missy  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** Short shorts XD  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** BarryFarman  
**Author's Notes:** I wrote this cause I knew the second I after I wrote the previous one, there was gonna be a sequel XD How's that for sad?

* * *

Since Havoc stopped visiting, he wouldn't say why, Riza decided, since Roy mysteriously finished all his work on time, that she would have to check and see if Farman was still alive.

Without even knocking, the first lieutenant strolled right into the semi-messy apartment.

And stopped short.

The room was covered in _flower petals_.

And there, laid out on the couch, was Barry. The suit of armor looked up and instantly jumped to his feet.

"Missy!"

He ran the short distance from the couch to the door and "glomped" Riza.

"Missy, guess what!" Barry exclaimed, like a schoolboy who just got an A+ on his report card. Riza calmly placed a hand on Barry's helmet.

"Barry, where's Farman?"

"C'mon Missy! Guess!"

By now, Barry had let go of Riza and was bouncing where he stood. The door to the bedroom opened, and out walked Farman, clad in short shorts and a tank top.

"Barry! I told you no--" He stopped when he noticed the gunwoman standing behind the suit armor.

Without wanting to wait any longer, Barry ran to Farman and hugged the other man's waist.

"We're engaged!"

Somehow, maybe working for Roy made her immune, but somehow, Riza managed to keep a straight face till it was time to leave.


	8. Carpe Diem Part Three

**Title:** Carpe Diem Pt 3: Here Comes the Bride  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** Cross-dressing  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairings:** BarryFarman  
**Summary:**  
**Author's Notes:** I wrote this during church. Yeah.

* * *

After Riza left, Barry disappeared into Farman's room and locked the door. The other man stood, clad in only a tank top and short shorts, locked out of his room.

Humming floated out the cracks from the locked room. The buff wallflower in short shorts glared with closed eyes at his bedroom door.

"Barry, what are you doing in there?"

The humming ceased.

"I can't tell you" Replied a cooing voice.

Farman continued to glare at the closed door. Hours passed. And the door to Farman's room was still shut, the humming continued, the tune, sounding somewhat like Requiem. Midnight came and gone, and Farman ended up falling asleep on the couch, figuring Barry would not open the door any time soon. Dawn's light peeked into the apartment of our two favorite crack makers, and the door that hit Barry opened.

The suit of armor glanced at the couch and "grinned" at the man who was asleep. He swished, yes swished, towards the couch. Once there, he poked the other's cheek. The man on the couch grumbled and turned on his side.

With ended up with him falling on the floor. With a grunt, Farman lifted himself up and rubbed his head. He squinted at Barry.

And stared.

For the other was decked out in what looked like a poor excuse for a dress.

"Are those my _bed sheets_?"

"I look like a dashing bride don't I Chief?" Barry "winked" at the man on the floor.

"My _bed sheets_ Barry! _BEDSHEETS_?" Farman struggled to his feet to he could go back to his stiff self.

Barry twirled. "It took me all night just to get this the way I wanted it. Doesn't it look marvelous on me?"

Farman started to shake as his face turned beet red. Anyone would get mad at a time like this.

Especially when Barry had to tear the sheets just to make a dress that could fit around his whole body and they had no spare sheets in their possession.


	9. It's Time to Dance!

**Title:** Butou is the Dancing Song  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** Dancing :D!  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** BarryFarman  
**Summary:** Barry gets bored just when their neighbor gets a piano.  
**Author's Notes:** I wrote this during the time when I was outta power after Hurricane Wilma hit and so I never got around to typing it up XD

* * *

It was a normal day, as normal as it could get when you're trapped in an apartment with an ex-serial killer whose soul was encased in a suit of armor. And said serial killer was bored.

Really bored. You wouldn't believe how bored he was. Well you would if you were one of the many who were trapped without power after Wilma hit South Florida, but really, let's get back on subject.

Barry the Chopper was bored. So bored, that not even chess made him squee with glee. Yes, something had to be done. The only question is... what?

Since the whole wedding fiasco, Riza had stopped coming over to visit seeing as how Barry found a new love. Havoc just couldn't stand Barry and Farman's crackish moments when he was around, so he promptly stopped visiting. Roy was far too busy procrastinating to help, and technically, they were the only three who even KNEW Farman was watching over Barry. As far as the rest of the military was concerned, Farman was out taking a vacation in Xing with Maria Ross.

So here Barry was, bored out of his hollow mind with an equally bored buff man across from him. Time passed as slow as when Ed battled Scar and was too pathetic and slow to fight Scar. Yes. Something had to be done. And that something began when their next-door neighbor pawned for a piano.

It all started later that morning. Barry peeked out of the window and saw the neighbor squeeing in glee at the large box entering their apartment room. As soon as their front door shut, banging noises began to emerge from the inside. The noise was so loud; it awoke Farman from his deep slumber. The buff old man jumped from his bed and his eyes almost opened from the pain his head endured. With one hand rubbing his head, Farman walked out into the living room where a hyper suit of armor awaited him.

"Chief! Chief! Guess what!" Barry by now had run up to the poor man whose head hurt from a bump on the head and grasped the fleshy hands into his own armored ones.

"Guess what Chief! Guess what!" After spending some time with the so-called serial killer, Farman had grown used to Barry's insane antics and frankly, just chose to play along so to pass the time quite quickly. But after the whole marriage bit, Farman didn't know how much more he could take.

Barry seemed to get more and more personal with each passing day that they stayed in the cramped apartment. And with each hour, Farman wasn't sure how he could stand Barry much longer. As the minutes rolled on, Barry continued and continued until Farman snapped at the last second. Of course, it was only now did Farman actually acknowledge what Barry was carrying on about.

"You want to _WHAT_?"

"C'mon Chief! It's not like anyone can see what we're doing and we're bored anyway! What's the harm?"

"There's no way I'll ever do that Barry. Why don't we just play another ten rounds of chess to pass the time?"

The suit of armor sulked in armory fashion. "But I don't wanna play chess. It's boring now."

The military man just stared with a dull look. He had to admit, after awhile, chess DOES get boring, but why should dancing replace it? As if the Gate, Truth, the Gatebabies and Mike were all against him, the neighbor started to try out the piano. Music filled through the apartment complex, passing easily through the paper-thin walls. Farman groaned. The suit of armor "grinned" in his weird way of not having a fleshy body and started to twirl. The second tallest of Roy's crew then felt like taking his eyes and drowning them in bleach to get rid of the image before him. Sadly, there was so bleach in arm's reach. Barry continued to twirl until he reached Farman.

"C'mon Chief!" He rubbed his metal body against the other man. "Let's dance! _You know you wanna_" He chimed as he grabbed our favorite buffed warrant officer and twirled around the room. Farman, caught off guard by being twirled, hung onto Barry for dear life.

Unfortunately, Barry took it the wrong way and stopped. Farman felt the stop and "opened" his eyes. The room was still moving. His face turned a hint of green as the room slowed to a stop as well. Barry removed Farman from his body and placed the man on his feet. With that, he placed his left arm on Farman's right shoulder and put Farman's right arm on his left hip. Satisfied, Barry took his right hand and grabbed Farman's left hand. Again, Barry start to twirl, only more slowly. Farman quickly blinked and finally took in that the room was moving again, only not fast like before. Then Farman noticed the position he was in.

Farman was waltzing. With Barry.

Said suit of armor seemed to totally not notice the dumbfounded look from the man in his arms.

Now, if one were to peep a look into this apartment, they would see a man dancing in a circle with a dead weight of a suit of armor. Unfortunately, if one actually KNEW the people in the apartment and they happened to be visiting that day, they would be just as dumbfounded as the man waltzing with the suit of armor.

Of course Farman never knew when someone was visiting, which is probably why he didn't want to do something questionable with the ex-serial killer because every time he DID, he would scar his friends.

And now he was scarring his superior officer.

Farman finally saw the flame alchemist at the door and nearly died where he was. No. Better to die on the floor than in Barry's arms. And as if Ishbala or some other God was giving pity, Barry stopped waltzing and finally acknowledged Roy's existence.

"Hey! It's the fella that's after Missy!"

Roy shrugged the comment about Riza off and tried not to ask why exactly his warrant officer was dancing with this psycho. Farman untangled himself from the called psycho.

"Colonel! I didn't know you were coming over!" Farman saluted.

"At ease... Farman... Must I ask..?"

"Please don't Colonel."

"Alright then."

A stifling pause then showed its face at the two military officers. Barry sat in-between the two, looking back and forth, as if content that there's another soul in the room. Roy looked at the two roommates before looking behind him.

"Uh... I think I hear Hawkeye calling me. I left during lunch hour and I should get back before I get a bullet through my ear. I'll come visit again." With that, the flame alchemist was gone, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

Farman sighed as he glared at Barry. Once again, someone was scarred and he'll be here, alone, with a deranged killer who's trapped in that stupid suit of armor, till he didn't know how long.

Great. Just great.

"So Chief... let's dance!"


	10. Barry's Hidden Talent

**Title:** Barry's Other Talent  
**Author/Artist:** terrierlee  
**Warnings:** Crack. Duh.  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** BarryFarman  
**Summary:** Farman needs to shave. Barry wants to help.  
**Author's Notes:** This is a birthday gift to a friend, jiah I LOVE YOU IN THE FACE JIAH.

* * *

"Need to shave."

Barry looked up from the book he was reading; chess had become SO boring at that point, and looked over at the man who was rubbing a hand over his chin, checking in the mirror at his unshaven face. Barry placed a bookmark to save his place in his book before tapping the chin of his helmet.

Back when the supposed dead serial killer was somewhat alive and fleshy, he remembered what a pain it was to have to keep his face from getting stubby. This was one reason why Barry loved being in a suit of armor, too bad for Farman though.

"Hey Chief, why don't I help?"

Farman's head twisted around as far as it could go and gawked at his crazed roommate. Was Barry INSANE!

…

Okay, bad question.

But there was no way in Amestris that Farman was going to let Barry touch something that can be used to cut something.

Unfortunately for Farman, Barry had gotten up and pounded his way to the bathroom area. Totally ignoring Farman's scared look, the suit of armor ransacked the shelves for shaving cream, it was next to the toilet seat, right to the left of the oil can, what was THAT doing in the bathroom!

With the shaving cream in one hand, Barry stalked out of the bathroom only to come back a few seconds later with a knife from the kitchen. Farman's eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he saw the sleek knife in Barry's hand.

"Barry, put tha-"

"Don't worry Chief! I used to be a butcher so I know how to use knifes. Besides, this is the way I did it back when I was fleshy!"

That didn't make Farman feel any better. Dread covered his body as Barry advanced to the older man. Barry grabbed Farman by the shoulders and plopped him down onto the toilet seat. He ran out of the bathroom then and soon returned with a blanket from the bedroom. He placed it around Farman's front and tied a knot around Farman's neck.

With a quick shake of the shaving cream can, Barry sprayed some cream onto Farman's face and began to work.

* * *

Since Farman was scared shitless of what was happening, he momentarily passed out while Barry was fast at work. When Farman awoke, Barry had long since finished and was standing back, checking his handiwork. The gray-haired man blinked wearily before noticing Barry was done, and he wasn't dead.

Farman sat up and checked his face. It was smooth, like a baby's ass, no hair was left undone, and BARRY didn't kill him in the process.

What the hell.

Barry could be seen grinning, even though he was a suit of armor, and expected praise from his good work. Farman just shook his head, completely dumbfounded.

At least there was no more stubble. Maybe Farman should recommend Roy to Barry next time he came to the office completely unshaven.


End file.
